To Party Like A Rockstar.

We don't want to run the risk of being banished from future guest lists, so the party host will remain anonymous . . . in other words, don't expect any scoop spilling or tacky TMZ tattling tidbits in this blog . . . but Noah was invited to his first rock star birthday yesterday--and it rocked. Rock stars--or at least rock stars with babies--party just like us . . . well, almost . . .

Gifts and beautiful people abound, the party was equipped with a "home delivery" petting zoo that was cute enough to make Old McDonald rethink his farming aesthetic. Under the shade of a tree sat "Lil' Red's Traveling Buckaroo Ranch" where a two-foot high freshly painted red picket fence housed together for two hours (and two hours only for the well-being of the animals, we were told) the following: one large white duck with a bright yellow beak, one big fat freshly sheared sheep, two brown-spotted chickens with lively afros (one of which spent the entire time standing on the back of the sleeping sheep), one black pot-bellied, one absolutely adorable white bearded billy goat and a frisky miniature black pony--and tied around each animal's neck was a neatly pressed bandanna.

Next to the pen was a golden brown pony ride ready with saddle and stirrups and adjacent was a bunny snuggling station--a small area with cushions laid on the grass and napkins (poop protectors) for your lap where you could snuggle baby bunnies until all of your bunny snuggling yearnings were satiated.

What was even more incredible then the fact that this myriad of farm animals were so happily cohabitating, was the sheer cleanliness of the entire operation. A husband and wife team clad in movie set quality matching bandannas, cowboy hats and flannel shirts saw to every detail all the while taking people on pony rides. The animals were groomed to the point where you would feel perfectly comfortable eating off of their well-fed backs. Tied to the outside of the fence with ribbons were small vintage napkin lined buckets holding hand sanitizer--and not a single turd was in sight.

It's so L.A., isn't it? Instead of going to the farm, let's bring the farm to us! Nevertheless, Noey Finn partied like an animal--slobbering on each four-legged friend as if to say "you're too clean, so here, take that!".

As fun as the petting zoo party was though, I suddenly feel exceptionally unfit and underfunded to host Noah's first birthday--which is still a far and away 7 months off. Perhaps we could pen together Miles and Linus for petting, and if we're feeling extra extravagant perhaps we have enough time before the big day to teach them a trick or two?!