API Article: "Numero Dos: Sharing The Love"

Another one of my articles appears today on API Speaks, the Attachment Parenting International blog. The title is "Numero Dos: Sharing The Love" and you can find it on API Speaks here and on my blog here.

Enjoy!

API Article: "The Conscious Parent"

This is my latest post for the Attachment Parenting International blog that will be published later this week or early next. Enjoy!

Positive parenting is hard. Why? Because you must be a conscious parent, always. Constantly. All day long. Every minute of every day. Even in the fuzzy gray of those groggy mornings after a night of restless sleep--even when it's late in the afternoon following a whirling day of no naps and fussy teething--and yes--even when it's smack dab in the middle of bedtime and you are ready to go to bed much much more than the little one that you are struggling to soothe to sleep. You must be a conscious parent--a calm, gentle, thinking, and strategical parent, even then.

Positive parenting takes work, effort, time, energy, but most of all it takes brain power--lots of it--when you have it the least to give. As Noah begins blossoming into a pre-toddler--that neitherland between infanthood and official toddlerhood at the age of two--we are beginning to consciously think about how we are going to handle the challenging behaviors that we know Noah Finn is bound to exhibit. As we prepare by talking to other parents, reading books and articles and attending parenting groups, our philosophy on how we are going to navigate through the wily world of throwing, kicking, biting and tantrums is beginning to take shape.

Hitting, spanking, time outs, raised voices and bribing with rewards are all routes we know that we do not wish to take. We know that these methods can result in a humiliated, embarrassed, isolated, externally rewarded and defeated child and do not lead to the kinds of positive outcomes we are ultimately seeking--a confident, internally motivated, emotionally balanced and secure child and teenager. And we know that it all starts now. We know that creating a child-friendly environment in our home is much healthier than constantly policing a home that has many things that cannot be touched, or that teaching empathy and giving tools to express frustration and anger early can curb a tantrum before it starts. We know that explaining to him now why he cannot do something is much more effective than overusing the scold "no". Even at such a young age, we know that he is ready to learn from us and that anything but gentle conscious parenting during these challenging times will perhaps train, but not teach, him.

But during the long and fatigued days that are sure to be ahead, we also know that falling back on easier methods of parenting are just plain, well, easier--you don't have to plan and think and explain. Using negative directives like "no" or "stop it" or "don't do that" instead of explaining why or offering choices and alternatives obviously takes less effort and brain power. But at what expense? It will be hard to remember, always, that we will need to offer Noah the best of us so that he can fulfill his utmost potential--whatever he deems that to be. But we must.

Yes, it's darn difficult raising a human, but, heck, whoever said it would be easy? And, we want a good human--a really good human.

API Article: "If You Love Sombody, Set Them Free"

Another one of my articles appears today on API Speaks, the Attachment Parenting International blog. It is a post that I wrote for this blog back in July, but it still rings oh-so-true today. The title is "If You Love Somebody, Set Them Free" and you can find it on API Speaks here and on my blog here.

Enjoy!

My First "API Speaks" Contributor Post: "Doing The 'Right' Thing Is Never Easy"

As many of you already know, Dean and I subscribe to a gentle parenting philosophy called, Attachment Parenting. It's not that we stumbled upon these parenting principles one day and declared, "Ah! Now, that's the way we want to parent"--instead, we read them and thought "Here is a philosophy that has put into words the way that we already feel about parenting--and we will use it for support".

As such, I have often turned to the API blog, API Speaks, for support--to read of other families' struggles with the woes of parenting and to find comfort in knowing that we are not alone. Choosing alternative parenting methods like cloth diapering, wooden toys, co-sleeping, baby wearing, even breast feeding, etc. has resulted occasionally in judgments from family members, strangers and other mothers who don't. Wearily waking after a long and sleepless night to read a fellow mom's post about her own long and sleepless night--and her reminder of why it's important that we listen to and follow our instincts--helps.

So, for these reasons and so many more, I am very excited to announce that I will be joining the leagues of fellow API mama writers by regularly contributing to API Speaks, the API blog. I have not yet determined my ideal frequency of publication--once a week, twice a week, etc.--but I will at least be published there once a month. And, this morning, my first post has been published--click here to find it on API Speaks. It is a post that I wrote for this blog two weeks ago titled, "Doing The 'Right' Thing Is Never Easy".

Please, read, enjoy and visit often!

Happy Day,
Joni