Of Dinosaurs + Armadillos.

The beginning of a new year brings with it a whole host of promises and possibility all punctuated by the constant fear that another year's end will come without any of them having come to fruition. And then, alas, they become the next's.

2011 brought us change on a grand scale. Though we snuck the move from California to Canada in just under the last nose hair of 2010 (having moved on December 12th), the year was still a transitional paramount. Aside from adjusting to the coldest, longest and snowiest winter that either of us had experienced in a long time--or ever seen, in the case of Noah--Dean and I, adjusted to a whole new host of factors that greatly altered the landscape of our home.

The past 12 months has brought a lot more Dean home than the last eleven years combined--and we lived together all 10+ of them. Hollywood engulfed him whole and left little time to nurture a budding family. Thus, the move to small town Canada where he's home, a lot, and well, that takes some adjusting to. I am used to a lot of independence, and he, the freedom to be totally immersed in his second love, making music. Now we resemble the model of a nuclear suburban family and it's bittersweet--the bitter and sweet taking turns for the more dominant seat. It's predictable, 9-5, and includes dinner being ready on the set table everyday by 6:00, the kids in bed by 8:00 and heavy drowsy eyelids that have us in a slumber around the time that we used to just be getting started. The town is simple, the people are sweet and our lives have taken on a rhythm that can't be denied as familial healthfulness--and that's exactly why we moved. But, I cannot honestly say that I do not miss the brisk, noisy, emphatic pace of the big city--with its museums and cafes and shops and bums and smelly dark alleys and allowances of anonymity, great global cuisine and urban edge.     

And then, Fern arrived in May with all her splendor, her peachy sweetness, her dove-y coos, her ability to sleep and smile and happily be a baby content with the world and her place in it. It's baby-ness so different from Noah's early months and it begs to make me wonder if it's not because of where she was born into--warm water, at home, and into the embrace of this new life. If so, then we made a wise choice.

As 2012 kicks off in full gear, I look only forward in anticipation to what this first settled year will bring--as a new family. I still often wonder whether we'll ever make it back to Los Angeles and if so, whether I will look back on our time here in London with as much forlorned heartache as I do the golden west coast now. In the weeks and months following our move here, there were certain songs that I could close my eyes while listening to and smell the ocean, feel its breeze and warmth of the Pacific sun. Their effect has faded as we coast into month 13 and I wonder if that's not such a bad thing.

Here's to looking ahead. Welcome, 2012.  
marble ramp
of dinosaurs and armadillos
break, fast
wooly hats and wiggly feet
Early morning monkey-wearing
avocado smiles

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