You Know You're A New Daddy When . . .

  • your ipod playlist includes Baby Einstein animal friends playtime classics
  • your jogging buddy gets to sleep while you do all of the work
  • you're shocked to find yourself discussing sleep strategies with other men
  • you can't remember the days when your wife's breast were something other than baby feed bags
  • you get downgraded to the old station wagon for your daily commute while the wife and carseat crooner get the newer ride
  • women swarm to you like bees to honey (even if it's only because you're holding a baby)
  • you read more baby gadget instruction manuals than books these days
  • you find yourself showing cell phone pictures of junior to everyone you meet
  • you discover that that lump under your pillow is a dirty breast pad
  • your tallying the days since you last had sex like ticks on the wall of a jail cell
  • sleep is something you used to remember doing
  • you swear that you always have unfastened snaps on baby's onesie because they make them with "extra" snaps
  • you can change a diaper one-handed, in the dark, with one eye closed faster than a speeding bullet
  • you find yourself hiding the postpartum granny panties while folding laundry in hopes that they'll forever disappear
And, lastly, you know your a new daddy when . . . you wouldn't trade any of the above for anything else in the whole wide world (okay, maybe except for the granny panties part).

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