You Know You're A New Daddy When . . .

• your ipod playlist includes Baby Einstein animal friends playtime classics
• your jogging buddy gets to sleep while you do all of the work
• you're shocked to find yourself discussing sleep strategies with other men
  
• you can't remember the days when your wife's breast were something other than baby feed bags
• you get downgraded to the old station wagon for your daily commute while the wife and carseat crooner get the newer ride
• women swarm to you like bees to honey (even if it's only because you're holding a baby)
• you read more baby gadget instruction manuals than books these days
• you find yourself showing cell phone pictures of junior to everyone you meet
  
• you discover that that lump under your pillow is a dirty breast pad
  
• your tallying the days since you last had sex like ticks on the wall of a jail cell
• sleep is something you used to remember doing
• you swear that you always have unfastened snaps on baby's onesie because they make them with "extra" snaps
• you can change a diaper one-handed, in the dark, with one eye closed faster than a speeding bullet
• you find yourself hiding the postpartum granny panties while folding laundry in hopes that they'll forever disappear

And, lastly, you know your a new daddy when . . . you wouldn't trade any of the above for anything else in the whole wide world (okay, maybe except for the granny panties part).