This is going to be a long one folks.
Where have I been? Living under a rock? Well, yes, kind of--I have an infant--same thing. But, still . . . how have I not been following the controversy surrounding Babywise? Seriously.
I stumbled upon a post about it today on SortaCrunchy's blog. Trying to find out what all the fuss was about, I Googled it, of course, and was shocked (to say the least) by what I found.
The book's "Product Description" on Amazon refers to the concepts found in the book as "Infant Management". Infant management!? Seriously? What the hell is that? The word "managing" near the word "baby" sort of replaces the warm and fuzzies with an image of a cold and tinny dictator waving a bull whip near a nest of baby chicks.
It continues by stating that the book is "an alternative to sleepless nights and fussy babies." Isn't that what babies naturally do? Seriously. They can't talk. My friend Asami told me that in Japan they have a one word sentiment that means "babies cry at night" and that Japanese people often refer to the first year with baby by using this word. Why? Because that's what babies do. The first year of life is wrought with jarring and tumultuous change and crying is the only way that babies can express their concern, or worry, or angst, or pain, or hunger.
And don't think I don't know what it's like not to sleep. I have a seven month old insomniac who hasn't caught more than an hour or two at a time of shut eye since the day he was born. I know. I so know. But, I am mom. I will mother and nurture and care for and parent him until he is old enough to sleep through the night and explain his woes through language rather than tears at 3 a.m. Am I tired? Yes. But, sleepless nights and fussy babies are part and parcel to parenting. It's the contract you signed when you made the kid bargain.
I saved the best for last. The description also claims that the book's methods aim to free parents who are "enslaved to the infant's unknown needs". Okay, hold the freakin' diaper cream. Enslaved? Unknown needs? Seriously? I'd rather refer to it as feeding my baby who has not yet learned the skill of lifting fork to mouth. I'd rather refer to it as removing the poop from the butt crack of my child who has not yet learned to control his bowels. I know what he needs and I intend to give it to him.
Point in short--I have never seen more terrifying words in the same sentence as the word "baby". What are these people thinking? This "so called sleep training method" completely removes nurturing from mothering and mothering from parenting and parenting from raising a child.
The most shocking of all is the description of the book and it's author, Gary Ezzo, given on Christianity Today--which is uber interesting as the book, it seems, is most popular among Christians.
"A central element of Ezzo's plan in Babywise is feeding newborns on a firm schedule, controlled by parents, rather than "on-demand," whenever a newborn seems hungry. Ezzo says his parent-directed method is essential to develop respectful, obedient, and godly children. Yet many breast-feeding mothers report that they have been unable to produce an adequate milk supply when following the program according to Matthew Aney, a California pediatrician.
A major focus of Babywise is to get infants to sleep all night as soon as possible. But some pediatricians, when comparing newborns whose parents use Ezzo's guidelines to other infants, have noted a higher incidence of inadequate weight gain, dehydration, and failure to thrive. Critics also sharply question other Babywise emphases, such as introducing a form of spanking in children younger than 2 (CT, Nov. 13, 2000, p. 70)."
Before I burst a blood vessel, I am going to close with the comment that I left for SortaCrunchy in response to her post and her other reader's comments. You'll notice my very agreeable and restrained tone. I posted it before I researched "Babywise". Nevertheless, it still holds true and it is a lot more eloquent than the above enraged babbling. And someone, please tell me that I've got this all wrong. Please tell me that I have gravely misunderstood an otherwise innocuous guide that simply offers gentle suggestions for helping your baby sleep more soundly at night. Please tell me that people don't actually envision parenting this way. Please tell me.